Monday, March 31, 2014



Who likes em?

Reader: Not me! I have heard of some gross ones that cause your poop to get all nasty! Why we talkin about parasites anyway?!

Well, dear reader, I live in Guatemala. Here, parasites are very common because the water is NOT clean. It's just plain nasty.

Where we live, they use sulfer water. This means that our house smells like fart a lot of the time (one reason I love to use my diffuser to make the house smell good!)

Fart. No one wants to smell it. It's the worst when someone does it in an inclosed space. It's even worse when that inclosed space is your entire house.

I digress. The water in Guatemala is bad.

I got a parasite here a few years back when we were visiting. Worst night of my life. I lost any dignity with John that I had. When I went into labor with Jackson years later, I played the game: "Which Is Worse? The Parasite or the Contractions." The parasite was worse up until the very end..then they cut my stomach open for a c-section.

This is what water looks like in our village when it comes out of the drain.
Our kids drink water that looks like this.

When I take a shower. I spit. The entire time. I am constantly spitting because I don't want to swallow the shower water. My shower does not drain quickly. This means that I am then standing in my spit. Not much of a shower if you ask me.

When I brush my teeth or my sons teeth, we use water bottles. We never use the sink water. If I ever forget and rinse with sink water, I pray all night that I won't get sick.

When we bathe Jackson at night, we use pure water in a bucket, because he is not old enough to keep the shower water out of his mouth.

When we clean our veggies and fruits after we go to the market, we wash them in bleach water. We have to do this because the produce is grown with water which has parasites in it.

Reader: Sarah! That is horrible! That is so bad for you! Please tell me you do not do that! Bleach?!

I know. This is bad. As you know, if you read my post titled "Freak", bleach is very bad for you. Can you imagine cleaning your produce with it?! This bothered me, but I did it. It is better than a parasite. I think...

I did this until I got the courage to try cleaning my produce in Lemon and Thieves oil. I tested it on myself first. I cleaned my apples and avocados in it. A brave first step in my world of oils.

This was my first salad sans bleach. Delicious.
Notice the diffuser in the background :)

I took a bite. Tasted delicious and less bleachy.

I waited. (not that I actually would have noticed anything right away..but I waited)

I waited some more. Turns out, IT WORKS! I have been fine using Thieves and Lemon oil to clean my produce.

Not a single parasite. If they clean my parasite ridden produce, they will definitely clean your lovely American produce. (Actually, turns out, I have readers from all over the world, so if you live in a place where you HAVE to clean your produce or you will die, give me a shout. I'll hook you up.)

JUST SAY NO!...To Parasites..Not Oils.
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Sunday, March 30, 2014

How Many M&Ms Can I Eat?

Am I the only one who basis exercise off of how much I will be able to eat?

Today, I went outside to "run."

(By run, I mean walk mostly and jog a little. Let's not try to kid anyone. I have not actually run since high school, and even then, my friend Crista and I opted for shot put over actually running in track. My friend Kris and I "ran" the track at school afterwards, but only so that we could watch the guys at football practice.)

So, back to my story. I went outside to "run" today. I did not want to, but I did it anyways because I have been taking some oils that are supposed to help with weight loss*. I don't want to waste these oils as I realize they are "helpers" and not miracle workers.

(Although, I have to say, I have already seen some miracles happen with oils. I believe God works through them, but I also believe God doesn't want me to be a lazy sack and does, in fact, want me to get off my butt and "run.")

My view while I run. Not bad.

So, I start "ruking". (I was trying to come up with run/walking but it sounds too much like another word if you change a letter..)

I immediately get tired because I am in bad shape.

I think, "That's it. I'm quitting."

Then I think, "Wait. I want to eat some M&Ms tonight. I need to work out at least enough to eat a small bag of M&Ms."

(I have a heart rate monitor that connects to a watch which tells me how many calories I am burning. It's a Polar watch, and I love it.)

As I continue to "work out," I start to think about how many bags I can eat as I keep going. Now, here is where the ridiculousness comes in...

Reader: Sarah, this was ridiculous a long time ago. You are way past ridiculous. You created the word "ruking."

I know, but it gets worse.

I recently bought a jumbo size bag of different kinds of M&Ms. (It was a weak moment in my life. I'm not proud of it.) Peanut Butter is 100 calories for a small bag, Peanut is 90 and Regular is 70. I literally spent 30 minutes "ruking" (you know you love it.) adding up the different varieties of M&Ms I could eat if I kept going.

This is all really sad. However, tonight I get to eat 4 bags of Regular M&Ms, 1 bag of Peanut, and one bag of Peanut Butter. Thats right! I burned 500 calories today.

The wise woman, would not go waste all of that on M&Ms, but I have never claimed to be wise.

Reader: We can tell by your posts that you are not wise. We never thought you were.

Anyways, It's a win/win. I get to eat candy tonight and not feel guilty.

I listened to some great music while I was outside today: "Timber" by Kesha and "Oceans" by Hillsong were two of many.

(Just for the record, I don't think you could find two more opposite songs if you looked. "Oceans" is a beautiful song about trusting in Christ during hard times and knowing that no matter what happens, His grace will abound. Timber is about "twerking." (Don't judge. You love the song too. It's crazy catchy.))

So, am I the only one that works out this way?

(* I am currently taking these oils for weight loss help, and yes, I made this awesome graphic. I know. I know. So cute.)

I will say this. I think they are working. We went to the city to stay with some friends and all we did was gorge ourselves on food. I did not gain a pound. I have lost 5 lbs in two weeks. I will report back my trusty readers. Don't you worry! I am here for you.)

Choose oils over M&Ms!
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Ole Ole!


Or as us Guatemalans like to say it... Wuachamole! (The G is silent guys.)

I will admit, so far, Guatemalan food aint my thing. They eat thick tortillas here. This does not seem right to me. When we were here a few years ago, I pulled my first tortilla of the trip apart and there was a long black hair inside. Ever since, I am a lover of thin, hairless tortillas. It is harder to hide a hair in a thin tortilla.

Reader: Gross. Just gross.

One thing that they do here, which is awesome, is Wuachamole! on tostadas.

I realize people do this everywhere, but I am trying to embrace all things "Guatemala." (All things minus hair in tortillas, and lot's of other things actually.)

So, today, we had the Garcia family over for lunch. They were in town from Guatemala City and in between activities at the farm, we decided to come home and eat some food.

I had a bunch of avocados to kill, but no limes.

"What to do? What to do?" I thought.

"Sarah! Que vamos a estar?!" said Lucki in a shocked/terrified voice.

"Yo se Lucki!" (Then I started speaking English because after 1 year here, that's about all I know.) "We are going to use my Lime essential oil! Not only will it flavor the Wuachamole!, but it also burns cellulite among many other things!"

Lucki was so excited, that she started tearing up with joy. We added the lime to the Wuachamole! and mixed it up.


(I would like to state that the above conversation did not actually happen at all. In fact, what happened was this: I pointed to the bottle of lime oil. She looked at me funny. I said very loudly, "LIME" (because when you say it louder, they understand it better.) She said, "Oh, Lemon?" I said, "Si." (because I still can't figure out why they call both limes and lemons, lemons. I'm letting it go.) Anyways, I put three drops in the Wuachamole! and she mixed it up.)

Y'all, it really was so good. Tasted awesome and I didn't have to cut up a lime and get the sticky juice all over my hand.

So, there you have it. Do you ever want to make Wuachamole! but don't have the lime?  You can buy it online right now for like $14 and have enough oil to get you through at least a year of Wuachamole!

Yo Quiero!
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Saturday, March 29, 2014


Y'all. My favorite thing to do during the day, besides writing these posts, of course, is to sit in our back office with a combo of Joy and Thieves being diffused into the room. It is heavenly. It smells legit, kills air born germs, and makes me joyful. (It helps that while I am back there, I am doing my Bible study. That's right. I'm holy. Or as my family likes to sometimes say, "holier than thou.")

I designed the above picture. 

Reader: Sarah, you are just so talented. I don't know how you do it all. You are brilliant, beautiful, and creative. I don't know. I think I want to be like you. I think I need to sign up for my kit and sell oils just like you. 

Aww. That is sweet. I really appreciate your compliment. I have to tell you though. It is hard to be as amazing as me. I mean, who can live in Guatemala for an entire year and still not speak the language? Only me. 

(I mean seriously. My Spanish teacher told me in high school that Spanish was not my thing, and I'm really starting to think she was right. I am having to trick these kids into loving me with my funny dance moves and sarcastic eye rolls.)

Oh yea. The gorgeous sign above. I did enjoy designing it. However, I have had the stinking song in my head all day. I guess this has resulted in my being joyful, but I'm about done with it. 

Ok guys..GET EXCITED! This week, if you sign up for the Premium Essential Oil Kit, I will throw in this lovely keychain oil carrier. I realize that none of you will probably actually carry this on your key ring, (Except for maybe my niece who has some serious keychain issues.) but it is awesome to throw into your purse to take some of your favorite oils on the go! I am ordering myself one this week! I find myself constantly wanting to have them at the farm when one of the kids gets hurt.

So, what are you waiting for?! Get You Some!
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Friday, March 28, 2014


I have a new man in my life.

Reader: You are a missionary. You don't have another man in your life unless you had a new child I don't know about. Do you have a new baby boy Sarah? You better.

 Frank Stallone. Jackson's Favorite Singer. Singer of Eye of the Tiger. A classic.

Chill reader. Chill. It's not the guy above because this man is not in fact a man. 

It is an oil.

Reader: Well, that is just ridiculous.

Jesus liked this oil. (I assume this. Otherwise, the wise men really screwed up, and they were wise.)

Frankincense (which for some reason for me is a biotch to spell) is da bomb dot com. (I said it)

Some amazing things that good ol Frank does:

Stress Relief. Improves Wrinkles. Fades Sun Spots. Helps Fade Scar Tissue. Relieves Itching Skin. Relieves Pain. Disinfects Cuts and Scrapes. Removes Warts. Reduces Inflammation. Strengthens Immune System. Eases Pain. Stops Itching. Enhances Visual Acuity. Improve Concentration. Strengthens Brittle Nails. Removes Cysts. Removes Moles. Removes Skin Tags. 
(I would love to tell you all of the ways to use these besides the above summaries, but I am too lazy to do that much detailed work. This will have to do. If you buy oils from me or sign up for the kit, I am all yours. Until then, you get lazy Sarah.)
I have a story about moles and warts coming in the near future. Two stories. One about a woman. One about a man. Riveting I tell you. Riveting.
Reader: Sarah, this post really let me down. I expected some good stuff from you because your last post was basically just a picture of your kid and husband. Step it up next time. 

Reader: However, this picture is quite funny. Did you create it yourself? 
Why yes, I did. I am dabbling in a site called picmonkey. It's the beginning. We shall see what happens.
Reader: Alright, I'll check back for your next blog post. This won you a few points. Like 1 1/2 points. 
Don't Have A Frank In Your Life? Treat Yo Self!
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Just Do It!

These are my boys in their Nike gear. Neither of them will ever get hit by a car wearing these outfits.

Just a few hours before this happened, Jackson cut his toe open and asked me to put oils on it. He got excited as he watched the oil drip onto his bleeding toe. I wish y'all could know how huge this is.

Just Do It!
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Reader: Wait. What?! You can get 24% off? I'm on it! I mean, goodness, I will so end up saving money by not having to buy as much medicine! Plus, if I'm being honest, most of my medicine is expired...

Walking Dead: Guatemala Style

Yesterday,  I experienced the end of the world.

Ok, not really the end of the world. But, John would say that at many points throughout the day, I acted like it was the end of the world.

We found out a few days ago that they (whomever they are) were going to cut all of the electricity in our town, and the 4 other towns around us, for 10 hours. This included all businesses and even restaurants.

Reader: Say what? How is your Burger King gonna be fresh if there aint no electricity to keep that patty cold?

Exactly my friend. Exactly. How are they going to keep the produce cold? (I just realized produce does not actually need to be cold.) How are they going to keep milk and cheese cold? How are they going to keep the meat cold?!

Apparently, they don't care. Apparently they don't care about the e-coli that will grow. (Is that what happens when meat gets warm? I don't even know. I know it's not good.)

Yesterday at 7:34 am, all power within 45 minutes of us...wait for it...was turned off.

The end of the world, as I knew it.

It was 96 degrees here.

It was hot.

It was quiet. Eerily quiet.

What do you do in silence? In heat? With a two year old?

Well, you get in the car and drive 25 minutes to Burger King because you secretly hope that they were not really going to be shutting down businesses. (Cause that's just loco! (crazy for all you English speakers out there.))

Burger King: No power. Doors open. (I guess to let more heat and dirt in.)
Grocery store where we buy our precious chicken: No power. Doors open..

Reader: Sarah. What. Did. You. Do?

Well, we drove one hour in the opposite direction and did what any good-minded American would do. We went to McDonalds.

Reader: Sarah, you have now gone to Burger King and McDonalds in one day. What has happened to you?

I know. I know. It's sad. Our tastes have suffered by living here, but our hearts have grown. (Except for the days that they turn off our power. Then, my heart shrinks down to a tiny black pebble, and I want to smack them all in the face.)

Our Day: (I would like to state, in order to earn a little bit of credit, that quite often, we are without power here. It is just never for this long. I am not a total wimp. Just a little one.)
  • We sat in McDonalds and had a nice meal...(sarcasm)
  • We walked around the non air-conditioned mall. (Has a grocery store connected and I got hazelnut coffee creamer...success! Guys, coffee creamer is so hard to find here. I don't like for my coffee to taste like coffee. Ever. This means that I have to drive to far off destinations for my morning delight..not that kind of morning delight.)
Reader: Girl, I was gonna say....
  • We drove home, started melting, and got back in the car
  • We drove to a local hotel with no power, but with a pool
  • We swam in a pool that had not been cleaned in a while
  • We came home right before the power was supposed to come back on
  • The power didn't come back on
  • I started panicking
  • John told me to calm down
  • I started crying (not physically on the outside, but on the inside, I was a waterworks)
  • John rolled his eyes
  • I started running around like a crazy person
  • Jackson, my two year old, slapped me (not really, but I think he wanted to)
  • I started singing "It's the end of the world as we know it."
  • Jackson cut his foot and asked me to put OILS on it! (Purification oil: done and done)
  • I started comparing our lives to the Walking Dead series.
  • I started to plan my move back to the United States (I'm a little ashamed of this, but at the time was in fact very serious about it...I don't know where the other comma goes here. I feel that there needs to be another comma, but can't figure it out. Let's all just agree now that my grammar won't be perfect, which will kill my mother since she is an English teacher.)
  • An hour and a half later, the power came back on
  • I decided it wasn't all that bad
  • John rolled his eyes again
So, to sum up. It was not like the Walking Dead to anyone else but me. I am the only one who panicked. In fact, when I stared out at everyone else on the street, I realize that they were not really effected at all. They don't have electricity to begin with. They don't have air conditioning. They cook their food on an open stove. They don't have refrigerators. Some of the kids that we minister to here, sleep on the floor.

So, to sum up..again. I am a snob. I am spoiled. I am a brat, but I love electricity. I love air conditioning. I love well-kept meat. I love running water. (Because the electricity was out, the water could not get pumped into our house.) I love oils. 

Get You Some Oils Just In Case The End Of The World Comes!
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Thursday, March 27, 2014

Tummy Time!

Nope, I don't have a baby. I just rubbed oils on my husband's tummy*. It's true.

Reader: Sarah, this is really not any of my business...really.

This is your business! This is our business.

You see, adorable reader, my husband has made fun of me and these oils since the day I got them. He has not been a believer. Just like you might not be a believer...

Reader: (Throws hands in the air and waves em like she/he just don't care.) Girl, I am so a believer. I am getting my credit card out right now to order some oils. I believe you!

Well, I appreciate that, but let me continue. It gets better! He was not a believer, but he was happy that I was enjoying these oils and had found a new "hobby" (He called it a hobby until I started bringing in the money. Now, he is asking me how much I think I can make this year.).

Reader: Wait. Hold up. You can make money? How much we talking about here? 

Well, in one and a half months, I have made $780 and I don't even live in the United States.

Reader: I'm totes messaging you after I finish reading this thrilling story. I could use some more money. Momma needs a new pair of shoes/Daddy needs some new golf clubs! (I don't want to discriminate here. As you will see from the story, men love oils too.)

I had helped him with a few things here and there, and he is thrilled that Jackson is sleeping through the night, but he still liked to make little jabs here and there. Tonight changed things. He told me his stomach was really hurting him.

"WHAT?!" I said, "Why didn't you let me put oils on you?!"

"That's fine. You can if you want."

(I would like to state here, that I think he just wanted me to rub his stomach. I think he wanted to show off all of that working out he is's working..I tell you's working.)

Reader: Sarah, I don't want to hear about your husband's physique. I know he is a good looking man. You are a seriously lucky woman, but that is enough.

Anyways, I put DiGize and Peppermint on him.

About 10 minutes later he said, "You know what. My stomach feels better."

Then I said, "I told you! I have been telling you these oils work, but all you do is make fun of me. You never believe me. I wish you would just believe me. You didn't even tell me about your stomach hurting at first. I don't understand why you never believe me. I am telling you, this stuff works. I just wish you would believe me when I tell you something..."

Ok not really. I just told him that I knew it would, and he should listen to me more often.

So, that's that. My hubby is a believer and I have cured his ailing tummy.

I am starting to refer to myself as a Dr...thats ok, right? **

(*We only actually say tummy when referring to our son's stomach. John does not call his stomach his tummy. I do not call his stomach his tummy. It just sounded like a catchy title for the blog post.)

(**I think I am supposed to state here that I am not a Dr., and please don't sue me or something if you take my medical advice and die.)

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Wednesday, March 26, 2014

My Take On World Vision And Its New Policy

Not really. I would not touch that with a ten foot least, not on my blog. But I got you to click on the link, didn't I?

But, I do have a vision. A vision for the world!

Reader: Are you kidding me? I have better things to do with my time Sarah!

Sorry, not sorry.

I am obsessed. With my dogs.

I love all three of them! We have three dogs. A Chihuahua, a mutt (who is beautiful), and a German Shepherd.

Reader: Sarah, I have been following your blog every now and then. I have stuck around because you are beautiful, lovely and I want to be like you. However, you have three dogs. That puts you in the crazy category, and I am not longer sure we can be friends.

I totally get it reader. I never thought I would be this person either. (I was actually bit by a lab in the face when I was little and hated dogs for a long time.) We had two dogs, which I feel is a respectable amount, but then we decided to move to Guatemala.

We are not allowed to own a gun here, (Also not touching gun control with a ten foot pole.) and honestly, you need to protect yourself in a country like Guatemala. So, four months before we moved, we bought a German Shepherd.

She is the greatest purchase I have ever made. Seriously. She makes us feel so safe, and her bark is terrifying. Anytime someone walks past our house, she freaks out. It gets a little annoying, but I am pretty sure it makes people think twice about messing with us. She has a very "manly" bark.

Anyways, this is my excuse for having three dogs.

Reader: Sarah, what does this have to do with oils? I read this blog every day to learn about oils. I check back every five minutes to see if you have posted a new use on oils. Dogs are cute. Pets are sweet, but you cannot use oils on pets.

Oh yes you can my, dear friends. Yes, you can. And I have a World Vision that one day, all pet owners will use oils on their pets! (And I will make a fortune because you will all have signed up for these oils under me!)

Reader: Mind blown! What?! Tell me more!

You can use almost all of Young Living oils on your pets!

Here is a list of the different ways you can help your pets without putting nasty chemicals into their bodies. It is also so helpful when you don't have any way to help them. Just get out your oils!

This is my sweet baby. She is 9 years old. Her name is Beyonce. She lives up to her name. She is a diva. (I named her in college. Don't judge.)

Reader: Sarah, I am judging. Right now. I am judging.

She is old and has bad joints. I try to put PanAway on her to help with her joint pain when I am noticing her limping. With a dog this small, you have to dilute a lot with coconut oil. I just feel like if I can do something to make her feel better, I want to do it. I like that I have the option!

This is my Bailey Bear. She is our "mutt." She is the kindest dog you will ever meet. She loves all and follows us around everywhere. She is my "Fatty Bear" because she is always looking for food with her tail wagging. This sweet dog loves to explore and roll around in weird stuff. She often has some kind of itch or rash.  I plan on putting Melrose or Lavender on her, next time she itches. 

I do have a testimony about Peppermint oil for her. She was throwing up a lot, so I diluted Peppermint and rubbed it on her tummy. She stopped throwing up. It worked!
Listen, dogs are our babies. (Judge away) If you can make your dog feel better, it is an amazing feeling. No one wants to see their dog suffering!

This is Sammy. She is my guard dog. She keeps our family safe. I love her. However, she is a puppy, and she is hyper. She always wants to play with her toys, and she is big enough that she can be all up in your business.

I put Peace & Calming on her the other night when she was driving me crazy, and she went over to her dog bed (that she never sleeps on) and went to sleep. It was amazing. I plan on trying this on Beyonce too during thunder storms, because she is a freak when she hears thunder. 

So to conclude: A vision for the world indeed. You are welcome. Below are some more issues and oils that you can use for those issues. If you love your pet, you will love oils :).

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Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Does Your Child Scream Too?

Since Jackson turned two, he has hated for me to put Neosporin on him or any kind of cleaner for that matter. Actually, he has not even wanted me to put water on it.

He has screamed. He has thrashed. He has looked at me like I was a monster. He has run from me.

Do you understand how frustrating this is? It's even worse if you are in public.

The first time this happened was our first week here in Zacapa, Guatemala. We had Northwest Bible Church in town for our annual camp. Over 600 people were at the farm. I was "speaking Spanish" to a few people when I heard the screaming. Horrible screaming. John had been watching him, and he had tripped over something and cut open his chin. Everyone within ear shot was listening and watching. I felt like that mother who couldn't control her child.

No one wants to be that mother...

He was in hysterics. Thrashing and whaling. I ran up to him and watched as our team "Dr." tried to clean him up. He did not want anyone touching him. No one! It was cray cray y'all

Reader: Don't I know! My kids are cray cray too. Keep talkin girl!

Ya'll, lets flash forward to today.

My precious little boy came to me today and said, "Mommy. Look! What happened?"

I told him that he had a cut on his leg. (This kid falls all the time. All the time. I have been thinking about putting him in some kind of hockey gear, but we already stand out as the white people here. Really, when we walk into a restaurant here (and by restaurant, I mean Burger King or Pollo Compero..this is what has happened to my standards...I refer to these places as restaurants now..), everyone stops talking, turns, and stares. It's awkward..adding hockey equipment might make it more so.)

"Mommy, are you going to put oils on it?"

"Yes." I said. "Is that ok?"

He did a shoulder shrug three times (this is his new thing. It's stinking cute.) and said, "Sure."

I put Lavender on his leg and he walked off and started "chalking" again on the driveway.

Are you kidding me? This is crazy! This is not my child.

Lavender is da bomb. Not only is it helping my kid sleep at night, (two nights in a row now. He has not slept through the night in at least a year. I'm taking the two nights and I'm running with it. Plus i have only tried applying it on his body for two nights now, so it has a perfect record) it is also helping my husband and I sleep, is great for allergies, cuts, burns and so much more. Also, it smells awesome.

Reader: Sarah, I am so happy for you. I will sleep peacefully tonight because I know how much you love your oils, but I cannot afford these. I am not made of money.

Well reader, I get it. I would not have bought them if they hadn't been given to me, but I tried them, and they are amazing. You can replace many every day medicines in your medicine cabinet with these oils. My sis in law has already replaced a bunch in her cabinet. I happen to live in Guatemala and didn't have any in the first place because it is all in a different language, and that scares me.

For $150 you can get your starter kit which contains 11 different oils (one of those is Lavender) a diffuser (which is right now making my house smell awesome!), and some samples like Ningxia Red (which is said to increase energy, lower blood pressure, lower cholesterol and more...all I can vouch for is the fact that it tastes good and provides energy.)

Just click on that little picture to the right (not my husband or son...the picture of the diffuser and oils) and start lovin you some oils.

Think about it. Help your family get healthier. YOU CAN DO IT! SI SE PUEDES!

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Are you a freak like me?

Reader: What do you mean? What kind of stuff are we disclosing here? 

I am a freak when it comes to hotels and public restrooms.

Reader: Oh yea, that's what I was thinking too....

This is what I do when I get into a hotel room:

  • I clean the light switches
  • I clean all door handles
  • I clean shower faucets and bathroom faucets
  • I clean the toilet seat, the part of the seat that you have to lift up, and the handle to flush the seat. 
  • I spray the remote control like crazy (because who knows what some nasty people were watching on TV while touching that remote, and who knows how often they scratched their butt cracks or "adjusted" themselves.)
  • I lent roll the bedding..all of it. (You would not believe the amount of pubic hairs I have found on bedding. John thinks its best not to know, but thats just cray cray)
  • I also refuse to go barefoot in the hotel room. (Guys, pubic hairs on the better believe they are on the floor too.)
  • I bring my own pillow case
  • I also...sleep in a "slanket". It is a thin, sheet like, sleeping bag, and I love it.

So, now you know, I am a freak. Before I found these oils, I used Bleach or Lysol wipes. Now, I use my Thieves Cleaner, Thieves Wipes, and My diffuser. Just like this lovely picture below shows!

(I would also like to state, that I now bring my own sheets and blankets. I might have a problem. Once, when I was traveling from Texas to Seattle with my Brother and Sister in law one year, I brought my own air mattress and laid that on top of the hotel bed, then put my own sheets and blankets on...)

Now, on to public bathrooms. So gross. Can we all agree? I am a hoverer, but potty training a 2 year old has opened up a whole new world to me. How to remain clean in a public bathroom? We also work at a farm with a super nasty bathroom, so there is that too....

Apparently, I need to start cleaning more of the toilet...and the walls. Gross!

When we went on a vacation with my parents recently, I had just started potty training Jackson. I brought my Thieves spray everywhere. It was awesome and smelled like Christmas in a bottle. I sprayed it on the toilet, on the sides of the toilet, and on the flush handle. Afterwards, I use Lemon essential oil to clean our hands. It is safe for kids and kills the germs! Often, I just spray the Thieves cleaner on Jackson (totally safe), but a bottle of lemon is only $10! Super cheap.

So, there you have it. I am a freak, but a clean freak. I feel like a better mom knowing that I am keeping my child away from poop feces in an all natural manner. (However, he did find cat poop at the farm last week and started playing with it.)

Treat Yo Self!
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Below are some interesting facts about Bleach and Thieves. Read on if you are interested!

Here is something to know about Bleach...

  • Respiratory issues
  • Skin burns
  • Damage to nervous system
  • Exacerbates Asthma
  • Headaches
  • Vomiting
  • Linked to cancer (but let's be honest...everything is linked to cancer...I'm trying to embrace that..)
  • Accidents that cause the skin to come into direct contact with bleach or people ingesting it (as many as 700 adults per year)

Also, think about this...“rinsing is required in applications where direct skin or oral contact can occur (children’s toys).” How often does rinsing ever happen??? NEVER

This picture below shows Thieves at work. 

Monday, March 24, 2014

Praise The Lord!

If you are a true fan of my work..I blog, then you have read my post "Coma". If you have not read it, I am questioning our friendship. I mean, there are only like 8 posts to read. It's not that difficult. Plus, what if the title coma meant that I had actually been in a coma and just got out of it today. Wouldn't you have felt bad that I was in a coma and you were just now finding out?

Reader: Sarah, lets move on. Shall we? I get it. You want me to read your blog. You obviously were not in a coma. If you had been, you could not have written the following posts or the actual post about being in a coma, because you would have been in a coma..

Reader, this is true. Let's move on. 

Well, I wrote in my post that I had tried diffusing Peace and Calming and Lavender in my sons room to try to get him to sleep. It worked on my nephew like God's grace raining down from above. (Really..he had not slept through the night in 3 years and now he sleeps through the nights and takes naps.) 

This did not work on my son. I was not bitter. Jealous, yes. Bitter, no. Jealous? Definitely yes.

Not only did Jackson not sleep through the night, I felt like it did the opposite. He woke up many times throughout the night. 

Reader: Sarah, we know. We actually did read that post. We just didn't want to tell you because you were being kind of annoying and needy about it. Please get on with it.

Well, I had given up on diffusing this stuff in his room. I decided to accept that my son would not sleep through the night again until he was 12. I was coping. I was moving on and living on little sleep. 

It's like the song by Jack Johnson: "Because the sum of us is more than us if you add us up then subtract my lack of sleep."

(I actually have no idea what this song means, but remembered the words "lack of sleep")

Reader: Sarah, you are killing me. I'm about to stop reading..

So, last night, I said, "Why not?" (I was talking to myself in my head about trying the oils one more time..there was an entire conversation, but I am just sharing the actual words that came out of my mouth. You're welcome.)
I went into his room and applied Peace and Calming and Lavender all over his arms and on his forehead (I diluted a little with coconut oil) and...

Wait for it......

Wait for it........


Let me say it again.


I want so much to just give all of the credit to the oils, but I have to remember, that our creator created the oils. So, thank you God for a good nights sleep!

Jackson woke up at 6 am and not a minute before that. Isn't it so sad that I am excited about sleeping until 6 am before being awoken? My life has changed so so much. I used to think waking up at 8:30 to go to work was early. I was so cute and naive back then. 

Anyways, he slept through the night and tonight I have decided to drench him in the oils. I'm just going to go all infant baptism on him and drop all of the oils on his head until I am out of them. However, this could put him in an actual coma...

(If you want to help a starving missionary (That is probably super inappropriate considering where I actually live.. I am not starving at all. I could actually stand to eat a lot less. If you would like to donate to our food kitchen at the farm where we minister to lots of actual hungry kids, let me know.) and order a few oils to try out or get a premium starter kit, MESSAGE ME!)

But for real, Treat Yo Self!
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Sunday, March 23, 2014

I Got Sausage!

Reader: Excuse me? What are you talking about? Sarah, where are you going with this?

Guys. Here in Guatemala, where we live, it is hard to find anything safe to eat besides chicken... This is probably not completely true, but we are extra paranoid and really try to avoid puking our guts out. It's just something as a family that we decided not to do together. No one wants to bond over a toilet so we eat canned chicken all the time. (Really, canned chicken has gotten a bad rap. You can do all kinds of great stuff with it.)

So, today we were in Guatemala City at a store called Price Mart. It is a wannabe Costco/Sam's but we are grateful for it nonetheless. They usually have the same old thing, but today I found Johnsonville Sausage! You have no idea how long I have looked for and yearned for sausage!

Reader: Sarah...once again, where are you going with this?

When all you have is chicken, you start to crave stuff. Hamburgers are not a craving because we have Burger King 20 minutes away (It's just the same as a grilled hamburger on the 4th of July out by a pool...IT IS!..) Mexican food isn't really a craving because we can make Nachos here. But Barbecue is a craving that I have not been willing to satisfy at the local Tony Romos (3 hours away). Barbecue in a place like Guatemala is a bit scary. You just probably shouldn't go there unless you want to see it again in your toilet. Just saying.

So, I bought a ton of sausage, drove three hours home, and started cooking.

I realize that I just mentioned barbecue, but at the time, all I could think about was pasta, so I made this:

Reader: Sarah, once again, I feel like I have to ask you this quite often, where do the oils come in to your story?

Well Reader, oils come in like this. I used lemon oil to flavor this delicious dish, and it was fantastic! Just 4 or 5 drops. So yummy! Lemon is one of the cheapest oils you can get, but it has SOOOO many uses. This is just one of them. 

So, I got sausage. It was delicious. John even liked it a lot. 

The moral to this story: Get you some oils. Message me. Life changing...Life changing.

Treat Yo Self!
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Thursday, March 20, 2014

Spiders Crawling Up Your Back. Spiders Crawling Down.

Do y’all remember that from grade school? “Crack and egg on your head, feel the yolk come down. Spiders crawling up your back. Spiders crawling down..”

Anyways, that has nothing to do with this post.  Just had a good ol flashback of elementary school when I started writing this.

Class, today, we are going to talk about spiders. No one likes em. No one. And if you do…I don’t know you, at least, not like I though I did.

I have a story to tell you. It is a story of heartache and loss. It is a story of triumph and power…

A few months ago, I was lying in bed. It was late. Around 12:30 at night. Something was making my back itch. I figured I had a mosquito bite. But, the itching kept different places.

Reader: “Sarah. Stop. I know what you are going to stay. I cannot believe you went through this. You poor soul. How difficult your life must be. Don’t continue this story. I cannot bear it for you.”

Thank you reader. You are kind, but alas, I must. I must keep writing. For the people.

(We live in Guatemala and tend to have lots of spiders. Lots. Our front porch used to host a few families of them.  I began to become too comfortable with them and even started naming some OK, not really, but by comfortable, I mean, I started smashing them with my hand. This became my norm. John even mentioned a few times that he was impressed with my smashing skills.)

Back to my story. So, my back kept itching. Finally, after about 5 minutes of it, I decided to get up and check to see what was making my back itch. Low and freaking behold, there was a big ol spider. You guys. I died. You would be proud of me though. I did not scream. I just said, “Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.” And then “Oh hell no.”  Then, I did my best spider smashing ever. (I also stayed up for the rest of the night, because spiders don’t really come out during the day. I decided I would sleep then.)

This is where the story about heartache and loss come in. You see, It was a difficult experience for me, but the heartache and loss were for Mr. Spider’s wife and children. They no longer had a dad.

This was Mr. Spider. He was at least 4 inches. Ok, not really, but he was big. 
Reader: Sarah, I am waiting with bated breath. I want to know where the triumph and power come in. Tell me! Tell me!!”

Oh reader. You silly, eager reader. I will tell you. I promise.

Here is Mrs. Spider and her children. On her back. (Y'all, I just about died when I found this picture on Google. Died.)

Here is the problem. Mrs. Spider and her children were still alive. They were planning and plotting their revenge. See, my bedroom is very close to this porch and I have a window that looks into my bathroom from the porch. The night that I killed their husband/dad, they saw it all happen, and they were none to pleased.

So, I did what any normal, red blooded American (living in Guatemala) would do, I sprayed the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks out of our porch and our entire house with Raid. I went through an entire bottle of Raid. It worked. I killed them. They all died. I triumphed and I had all of the power in that big bottle of Raid.

Reader: But Sarah, this is a blog about oils. You are supposed to be all natural. Raid is a horrible chemical filled with all kinds of poisons. It is toxic. You have a child. You have dogs. No!

I know reader. I have learned my lesson.  Actually, I have not. Just like I will always go to the doctor and take real medicine when needed, I will always use Raid.  But God willing, I won’t have to ever again because I now keep them away from our house be spraying the curtains with Young Living’s Peppermint oil! Not only does our house smell great, but spiders HATE peppermint. It keeps those biotches away.

Reader: Sarah, you are a missionary. You are not supposed to say biotch.

So, to sum up. Suck it spiders. You are not welcome. We have made that clear by spraying Peppermint all over our house, and if you do come in, I will either smash you with my hand or soak you in Raid.

*All spiders were harmed in the making of this story. Not one survived.

*If you want to buy a bottle of Raid from me, I cannot help you. Go to the grocery store. If you want to buy some Peppermint from me, I’m all yours. Just leave a comment asking me for more info and I would be happy to get in touch with you.

*If you have mommy spiders with babies on her back, don't put "some" drops in the bottle of water. Drop both the peppermint bottle and the spray bottle and run like hell. I think it might try to eat you while you are sleeping
 Picture by "Kathleen Hayes"

*After finding the above picture of baby spiders on Mommy spider's back. I will now be dousing my house in Peppermint. Dying. I hope none of the spiders read this. I don't want them coming after me.

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Swim Suit Season Solution!

We all do it. Don't lie. Ok, maybe you don't. Maybe you wax. The rest of us shave.

Have you ever gotten an ingrown hair? They hurt! Especially if it's swim suit season...who am I kidding..I started wearing grandma swim skirts years ago. I'll chalk that up to modesty.

Yea, modesty..that's it.
This is my favorite line of swimsuits by
Their slogan: "Who says it has to be itsy bitsy?"

So, what do you do when you get that ingrown hair? I have the solution! It works! I tried it! I am proof. I will not show you my proof. You are just going to have to believe me.

"Sarah! Swimsuit season is coming up! I need to know! Teach me your ways! What oils do I use? Tell me! Tell me!"

Alright precious reader. I will. You are welcome in advance.

Put a drop of Frankincense on it and a drop of Purification on it. Do it once in the morning and once at night. Should be gone after that! Worked for me and lots of others!

"But Sarah, why does this work? I just don't understand."

I don't know, and I don't really want to do the work to find out. It just does. (I'd show you pictures, but no one wants to see me.) There are all kinds of scientific reasons why it does, but I was never much of a science buff, so I would rather get slapped in the face than do the research. Just google it. :)

                               Here I am!                                                                        I'm right here! 

They both do so much more.

I am currently using Purification to stop bug bites from itching and to keep mosquitoes away (Number one ingredient is Citronella oil), freshen laundry and bad smells in the house, and on zits...thats right!

I'm using Frank right now to get a mole off of my face (Apparently you can apply it to your moles or skin tags and it will dry them up and they will fall off. (More to come on that.)) Frank decreases sun spots and clears up the face and possibly helps with wrinkles. It is also great to take internally as a dietary supplement (But only if it is Young Living. If it is not 100% pure, it is not safe).

They both do more than the above, but that is all I have used them for right now.

Let me know if you are interested in ordering your first kit, or if you just want to try some out! These are a game changer.

Get Rid Of Those Bumps!
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