Wednesday, March 19, 2014


The above title is what did NOT happen last night. It is what I was hoping would happen to my beloved Jackson. A coma.


Let me explain.

Everyone. EVERYONE I know (and by know I mean have become friends with on Facebook through oil groups...that's right...I'm getting friends through Facebook groups these days. I have no adult interaction here except for John, and while he is lovely, I am desperate.) uses this oil called Peace and Calming to help their kids sleep. Everyone. It works on all of their kids. They diffuse it into the room through a little contraption that looks like this picture below. They put that and Lavender drops in it mixed with water. That's it. Their kids sleep through the night. (It is actually extremely awesome and smells amazeballs)

This is what has happened with my sister in law, Conni. My nephew Will, while lovely, has not been a sleeper since birth. This poor sweet woman has not gotten a good night's sleep in over three years. (He is also a 3 year old brilliant escape artist who can get through any child safety lock and escape outside...down the street...towards the highway within minutes. This is another story. It just impresses me how smart he is. I can't even figure out the child safety locks...really. I have tried to get out of their front door many times, and can't. They have to help me every time.)

Back to my point. My sister in law got hooked on the oils, just like me, and started diffusing Peace and Calming and Lavender in Will's room. Basically for the first time in his life, Will is now sleeping through the night! 3 years people! He didn't sleep for 3 years and now he sleeps every night and has started taking naps during the day. This makes me so happy for my SIL, but also extremely bitter and jealous. (Not really. Im just happy for her. Three years. I can't imagine losing that much sleep.)

So, I diffused this in Jackson's room last night. I just knew it would work. But, much to my chagrin, it did not. That kid woke up at least 5 times and wanted me to read him stories!

(A reenactment of what he looked like last night when I came in (minus the fruit candy in his hand because that would totally explain the lack of sleep.))

The Scene Unfolds:

(At two in the morning I come wobbling into the room (for the 5th time) in a drunk like manner (not that I would know what a drunk like manner looks like or feels like. I am a missionary and am above any past sins. Once you become a missionary, all of your past sins didn't happen. Did you know that? Pretty awesome.))

Jackson: "Mommy, can you read "Are You My Mother?"

Me: "Seriously?"

Jackson: "Yes."

I spin around to his bookshelf (Once again, in a drunk like manner that I have only seen on TV.) and grab "Are You My Mother?".  And read the book to him. This book is in Spanish, but he hates to listen to books in Spanish and always wants me to translate it into English. So, I'm half asleep, translating this book in English. I finish. Impressed, with my not so accurate translation, I say goodnight.

Jackson: "Mommy, can you tell me a story?"

And on and on we go. This happened for way too long. I am tired once again.

I have a few points to this story.

Point Number One: These oils work. Just not on my kid for sleeping. Everyone else's kids. Just not mine. Screw all of you.

Point Number Two: Apparently "Cedarwood" is a great oil for sleeping and for calming down hyper little boys. It also helps with growing hair back in men, but since John has a full head of hair, I might try it on myself. Fun Fact: I got "Most Likely To Go Bald" in my high school yearbook. We shall see what happens.

Point Number Three: Until I get my Cedarwood, I am going to have to continue to give Jackson Benadryl every night. (Ok, I don't really do that, but you have no idea how much I want to every night. Every night.)

Update: My kid now sleeps through the night. Thank you "Stress Away". He asks for it at night before he goes to bed and likes to use the roller ball to rub it on his arms. Love.

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  1. This made me chuckle. Thanks. :-)

    Also - I miss you. (How come I miss you more when you're in Guatamala than when you were in Dallas? It's not like I've seen you any more or less since you moved to another country. Made it doesn't matter. Maybe I just miss you :-))

  2. I miss you too! We need to Skype!!! Let's set a date. Glad to give you a chuckle! :)