Thursday, April 3, 2014

The Hunger Games

We are on our way to Guatemala City right now. Our friends are having their second baby. (I consider them very brave for doing this in a 3rd world country. I am not so brave. She is having a c-section. After you have a c-section here, they don’t want you to talk for a certain amount of hours because they are afraid you will get air in your stomach…).

So, we are driving. We are listening to The MockingJay as we drive. Did anyone else think that the 3rd book in the Hunger Games series was super gory? John never read it, so he is very interested in the book. I am typing this and trying not to puke on the winding highways.

(Side note. Cannons go off here in Guatemala all the time, and I feel like it sounds like the Hunger Games. I always look up to the sky to see who died.)

Reader: Sarah, I really appreciate that you are putting us above your stomach. You are choosing to inform us of your life over keeping yourself from puking, due to carsickness. I don’t know what I would do without a daily blog post. Thank you for sacrificing. You are truly, my hero.

You are welcome reader. I know I won’t have a lot of time to write this weekend, so I decided to write while driving. You are my number one priority…besides my husband, Jackson, the teenagers and kids at the farm, my dogs, our friends, this conference, and TV. You are a big priority.

Actually, I just read that if you want a lot of followers on your blog, you have to write a lot. I don’t really care about followers all that much. I care about making money. I figure, eventually, I will wear some of you down and you will eventually order some oils for yourself or your wife or your ladylove. It’s the gift that keeps on giving and I will benefit from said gift.

In fact, right now, I am super nauseous and thinking about my peppermint oil in the back seat. It is great for nausea.

I have become a serious weirdo.

Reader: We know.

I don’t go anywhere without my oils now. I don’t know when this happened. I am not a hippie. I honestly, in the past, could care less about putting chemicals in my body. Judge away. It’s true. This is an honest blog. I shan’t lie about oils.

Anyways, it surprises me that I love them so much. I never would have bought them on my own, but because of them being given as a gift, I gave them a try.

Now, I am THAT person.

I don’t like it when people sell stuff. I feel obligated to buy things from people and I feel like Facebook has become a place to sell products. I can’t stand this, and yet, I am now one of them. I apologize for this, but I blame three different things.

First, I have nothing to do here. Like I have said before, I can’t leave at night. I can’t get in the car and go anywhere. We already watch a lot of TV so this is a nice reprieve from Scandal, The Good Wife, The Voice, Jimmy Fallon, Hart of Dixie, Modern Family, Revenge, Nashville, New Girl, The Mindy Project, Parks and Rec, Trophy Wife, and The Following. I told you, you came after TV.

Second, I quit everything. I am a quitter. Except for John and Jackson, I have quit everything that I have had the option of quitting. I quit piano, basketball, art, exercise, diets, college, (Yep, John proposed and I left. I told everyone from the beginning I was going to find a husband. I did what I set out to do.) and Spanish (Judge. I know I still live here. I should not have quit yet, but I get by and I use my witty personality to make the children adore me. Please don’t stop supporting us. John’s Spanish is great.)

So, you are having to hear all about oils because I refuse to quit this. I guess I’ll quit when I stop making money, but not until then.

Third, and this sounds like a sales ploy, but it actually works. When I started using these oils, I immediately started thinking about all of the people I love who could benefit from them. I started talking about them with my family. They were interested. I realized that if they were interested, and were going to sign up anyways, I might as well make money off of them. Family turned to friends, friends turned to annoyed Facebook friends who had enough and decided to sign up, and now I am making money.

So, there is a lot to blame for my new obsession. You can blame Scandal for its long hiatus on TV. You can blame John for saying that he is proud of me “for not quitting this.” (I mean honestly, now I can’t quit. He’ll judge me.) Or, you can blame the oils for working and the money I am making as a result.

I have a great idea! Why don’t you try the oils out?! Then you will understand why I keep hounding you with oil talk. That will fix our problem! You will see how God works through these beauties.

Reader: Sarah, this really had nothing to do with the Hunger Games. I read this post because I am a huge fan of that movie. I dress up in costume every time I watch one of the movies. I re read the series every year, and all you said was that you were listening to it while driving. You let me down.

Well reader, I also dress in costume for The Hunger Games. So, we have something in commonJ

John was Gale (He is holding a rabbit that he "caught.")
Jackson was Peta (He has on his apron and stirring spoon.)
I was Katniss (It was the only bow and arrow I could find.)
 It was for a fabulous Oscar party that we attend every year.

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